sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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