I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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