She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize