Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize