im gay
i know
yea but for you.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
