I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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