Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
