PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
