Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
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I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
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I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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