I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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