you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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