Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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