Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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