I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
