Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
North Korea, Best Korea!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
