dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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