gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Walk of Shame today included voting.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
