he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
