been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize