I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
