i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize