please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so explain again why im purple
no
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It was confusing and full of hummus
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
