I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
