She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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