i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
