how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
