last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We don't watch enough power rangers
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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