I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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