He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
