Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
