Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
