Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize