I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
ttyl tear gas
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
