She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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