I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
