why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
