This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
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YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
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I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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