mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I would fuck him just for his dog
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
