Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
