our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
