Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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