Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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