Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?

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  (412): Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned? http://tfl.nu/249l
  Replies (32) Good night (805) Bad night (6663)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.

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  (303): you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it. http://tfl.nu/a3f5
  Replies (9) Good night (827) Bad night (4332)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  hows the new call of duty?

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.

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  (207): hows the new call of duty? (1-207): I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome. http://tfl.nu/zewm
  Replies (78) Good night (5698) Bad night (1140)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.

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  (479): I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary. http://tfl.nu/vju6
  Replies (25) Good night (1304) Bad night (4840)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts

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  (620): my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts http://tfl.nu/naa2
  Replies (30) Good night (4506) Bad night (1286)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.

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  (425): i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life. http://tfl.nu/aawj
  Replies (15) Good night (1872) Bad night (5411)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.

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  (256): I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you. http://tfl.nu/8mod
  Replies (12) Good night (3814) Bad night (1206)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Vodka shot parachutes

  (265): View more from

  Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room

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  (202): Vodka shot parachutes (265): Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room http://tfl.nu/h39d
  Replies (3) Good night (1371) Bad night (624)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar

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  (740): You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar http://tfl.nu/iv8a
  Replies (8) Good night (707) Bad night (2100)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror

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  (307): A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror http://tfl.nu/ozj2
  Replies (14) Good night (1044) Bad night (676)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too

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  (978): So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too http://tfl.nu/cj9m
  Replies (10) Good night (1933) Bad night (687)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.

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  (705): I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud. http://tfl.nu/4ep3
  Replies (0) Good night (533) Bad night (357)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.

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  (706): You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse. http://tfl.nu/b73q
  Replies (3) Good night (456) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of

  (212): View more from New York

  fuck you.

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  (615): well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of (212): fuck you. http://tfl.nu/d4hh
  Replies (3) Good night (473) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is

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  (386): He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is http://tfl.nu/wlp6
  Replies (2) Good night (334) Bad night (769)

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