don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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