some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.