Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night

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(410): Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night http://tfl.nu/ayrv

Replies (34) Good night (1190) Bad night (6171)
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(917): View more from New York City

Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?

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(917): Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties? http://tfl.nu/8a9h

Replies (283) Good night (1272) Bad night (13499)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though

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(609): you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though http://tfl.nu/8e43

Replies (10) Good night (1542) Bad night (4316)
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(519): View more from Ontario

We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on

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(519): We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on http://tfl.nu/80ye

Replies (12) Good night (3721) Bad night (1895)
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(712): View more from Iowa

Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.

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(712): Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore. http://tfl.nu/hjm6

Replies (5) Good night (809) Bad night (3318)
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(646): View more from New York

She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."

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(646): She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers." http://tfl.nu/lbn1

Replies (5) Good night (2644) Bad night (855)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.

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(704): It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals. http://tfl.nu/tnox

Replies (4) Good night (2057) Bad night (661)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.

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(248): Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students. http://tfl.nu/08kn

Replies (50) Good night (923) Bad night (4615)
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(561): View more from Florida

well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.

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(561): well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/wjgp

Replies (10) Good night (745) Bad night (1757)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever

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(715): I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever http://tfl.nu/rkkg

Replies (3) Good night (1448) Bad night (432)
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(716): View more from New York

I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.

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(716): I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming. http://tfl.nu/r1ch

Replies (6) Good night (1478) Bad night (411)
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(818): View more from California

Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.

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(818): Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream. http://tfl.nu/75x9

Replies (3) Good night (1051) Bad night (269)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?

(856): View more from New Jersey

Of course. Go big or go home.

(330): View more from Ohio

You're my fucking queen.

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(330): Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship? (856): Of course. Go big or go home. (330): You're my fucking queen. http://tfl.nu/faru

Replies (1) Good night (848) Bad night (269)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.

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(403): Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up? (1-403): No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying. http://tfl.nu/1r8l

Replies (1) Good night (508) Bad night (176)
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(407): View more from Florida

Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..

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(407): Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks.. http://tfl.nu/vp4f

Replies (1) Good night (306) Bad night (287)

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