Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen

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  (781): my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen http://tfl.nu/zgta
  Replies (13) Good night (2738) Bad night (847)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.

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  (586): We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances. http://tfl.nu/gxxu
  Replies (11) Good night (1219) Bad night (3997)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?

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  (814): Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me? http://tfl.nu/l0ft
  Replies (4) Good night (2585) Bad night (1533)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording

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  (802): i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording http://tfl.nu/qw8w
  Replies (7) Good night (1974) Bad night (665)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON

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  (314): Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON http://tfl.nu/vk77
  Replies (6) Good night (1276) Bad night (714)
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  (716): View more from New York

  She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever

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  (716): She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever http://tfl.nu/gnyf
  Replies (8) Good night (1649) Bad night (620)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head

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  (734): I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head http://tfl.nu/48x4
  Replies (1) Good night (653) Bad night (385)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?

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  (604): Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You? http://tfl.nu/pz94
  Replies (4) Good night (568) Bad night (931)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost

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  (775): Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost http://tfl.nu/neal
  Replies (3) Good night (878) Bad night (438)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry

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  (610): Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry http://tfl.nu/g7mi
  Replies (3) Good night (817) Bad night (457)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump

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  (860): I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump http://tfl.nu/62ek
  Replies (3) Good night (597) Bad night (785)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.

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  (412): I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn. http://tfl.nu/rnnm
  Replies (3) Good night (590) Bad night (385)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl

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  (317): There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl http://tfl.nu/t02v
  Replies (3) Good night (809) Bad night (531)
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  (230): View more from

  Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.

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  (230): Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success. http://tfl.nu/u50l
  Replies (1) Good night (889) Bad night (466)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.

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  (918): I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser. http://tfl.nu/z7g4
  Replies (2) Good night (428) Bad night (227)

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