Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.