Will you blow on my dice?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize