I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
