That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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