My underwear smells like fireworks.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
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The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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