At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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