How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
