When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
operation have a gay friend backfired
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
