sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
