It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Sext me about skeletons
I have tasted many bathrooms
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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