That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We are all done wearing pants today
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
