u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
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He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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