Whod you bang
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
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