did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize