the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
