you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
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I want you more than these girls want KFC
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
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I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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