weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
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Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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