the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize