she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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